There are many situations in our lives where we find no justice at all. I always think of the day I was sexually assaulted by three black men. It has been seven years now. The day was June 3rd, 2013. My case was closed only months after my horrible incident. Can’t you believe that? This is not about how black men have raped me. This blog article is about how I found no justice with the law according to my case. I believe anyone who rapes should receive life in prison. Anyone who murders should receive life in prison too. I am sure you agree with me on this one.

An innocent black man by the name of George Floyd died on May 25th, 2020 and was killed in the Powderhorn Community of Minneapolis, Minnesota. At first, I had no idea what was going on and did not realize that this situation had even happened. Reason is because I do not watch the news all the time. In fact, I dislike watching the news because it is full of negativity. My cousin pointed it out to me and was shocked that I have never heard of the name George Floyd. He was in disbelief that I would not know of George Floyd at all. He compared it to Covid 19.

He texted me and asked, “How can you not know what is going on? It is everywhere on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media apps.”

Here was my response. I told him this. I typically dislike having to explain to people the why but because he was my cousin, I wanted him to realize the why I did not know who he was.

I texted, “I do not watch the news because it is so negative. Not only that but I deal with chronic pain and depression so my world is pretty busy and I deal with a large amount of suffering every day. Dealing with pain is a full-time position.”

Chronic pain is like caring for an infant every second of every hour. Questions run through my mind as my day continued to persist in pain.

Here are my thoughts. What kind of pain intervention should I use now? What should I do right now? How do I stop the pain? Should I lay down? With heat? Oh no, with ice? Do I put CBD cream on my neck? Do I take a pain medication? Dang, the pain is just not decreasing. It is just not going away. Will this pain last forever? What do I do now? I typically will lay there in agony and just wait for time to go by. By then, I probably have already cried and feel horrible about myself. I just want to die. I yell inside and no one hears me. Maybe I should listen to something to distract me? The pain medication has already kicked in but it is not taking the pain completely away. The wife is sitting there unable to change my pain level and watching me suffer. My dog lays there by my side to comfort me and wonders what I am doing. I put my hand on my forehand and feel like I am living a nightmare. This really sucks.

I am constantly trying to figure out what to do and how to deal with the severe pain. Having pain is not easy. It is one of the hardest things anyone will ever go through. There is a lot that comes with it.

I do not care what anyone thinks.

If they do not deal with a high amount of pain like me, they will not get exactly what I go through. I rather ignore them and continue with my day. It is difficult to explain to people the what, why, when, where, and how. But this time, it was a little different. I explained to my cousin all this. He stopped texting. Most people stop communicating with me because I think they either do not believe me or they think I may be exaggerating. I think it is because they do not think that what I go through is that bad. We do not see any chronic pain suffers killing themselves on the video camera so it must not be too bad. This is completely not true. Just because it is not recorded like George Floyd’s situation, does not mean that it is not horribly bad.

There are so many things in this world that deserve justice. Just because people do not see it on a recording does not mean that it does not happen or exist. A police officer who murdered George Floyd should go to prison and serve for life. Those cops that watched and did nothing to help George should serve in prison too. They were part of this.

I put murder and rape in the same category. They both deserve life in prison or the death sentence. Victims of murder and rape should get justice. If they do not on Earth, I hope spirits of God and angels help bring justice and peace.

My case is closed and I doubt my sexual assault record will be solved. I will never get justice through the law. I know I am not alone. Many of you reading this may relate to me and George. We may not get justice, we may decide to forgive and be the bigger person in this devastation. There is no need to destroy and loot. It only makes you look like an idiot. To bring peace, we must forgive. This does not mean to forget what others have done. This brings peace and calmness within ourselves. We may not find justice today, but we can find justice within us. Give this time. Stay strong friends.

Thanks for reading!!