I’m here again. I wanted to write something. It has been awhile. I wanted to put my thoughts on paper and think about what I am doing. Today, I have been fighting with pain and studying for my exam. My neck pain is sharp, radiates down my right arm. I say “Ouch.” Not out loud. I keep my thoughts to myself. I’m alone. I have my Boston terriers around and my cat. The hope that drives me is studying to become a Nurse Practitioner. That is what I have going for myself. I also have my amazing Youtube channel. I have not been able to make new content for my Youtube channel because…. One: I have pain and Two: I have to study. Having pain is like having a full time job. It is around the clock. It never stops and when I finally get a moment to put my feet up on my desk… Well, that time doesn’t come. Being a student is like having a full time job as well. Imagine having two full time jobs. None of which I get paid doing. It is hard work. Chronic pain is work. Imagine getting paid a yearly sum for chronic pain and all the times you have had to manage it. It is hectic especially when you are doing things around the house, showering, or studying. Speaking of showering. The last time I showered was 3 days ago and that was 6 days before that. You see… I know you probably think I am crazy, but having chronic pain is more than hard, it is a fight. I miss being able to shower first thing in the morning. Imagine only being able to shower when you have just enough energy to, the pain is finally lower than usual, and you get some help. I’m lucky my wife is there and can help me. It is hard to admit – I never thought I would need shower help at the age of 31-34. I just turned 34. I miss me before my car accident. I was not in pain. Life was easier. There were no complaints. I swear. If one more non chronic pain person complaints about something – thing is… If you do not have constant pain, you have nothing to be sad or mad about. Your life is great. Remember that, because once it is gone, there is no going back to easy. Chronic pain is more than hard, it is a fight!
You are so strong. Chronic pain sufferers are the strongest people I know. Trust me, I know.